On the bright side...

I have some pretty cute and awesome kids!!!
Not sure why the pictures are all over the place but what can you do?
Happy Fall Ya'll!!!

Pictures taken by Karen DeFriez DeFriezFrame Photography

I hate depression

Why I hate depression:

It sneaks up on me when I least expect it.
It's a silent menance.
It interferes with my life and completely alters the way I think about things.
It pushes people away.
It makes me doubt myself and others.
I hate knowing I have to be on medication for the rest of my life to keep a bandaid on it.
I hate knowing there's no reason I'm suffering from this- just my unfortunate lot in life.
I hate being unhappy.
I hate smiling and pretending everything is great when inside I'm just blue.
I hate the weight that has crept on while I so desperately want to take it off because of the change in meds..I hate the comments being made abt said weight gain.
I hate that the people who I need the most don't understand why I'm struggling.
I hate waiting for the meds to kick back in after I try to go off them and the dissapointment I feel in myself that I can't go off them.

Because right now I am waiting.

Depression sucks. I don't recommend it.

But..tomorrow I'll be just fine!

stop stop stop stop STOP!!!!!

I need to stop!
Stop feeling sorry for myself.
I need to stop remembering what was and accept what is.
Now before you start thinking I had some major life change or catastrophe, no worries there.
It's the little things that I'm struggling to stop dwelling on.

Everyday I'm reminded of how I can't run anymore. Or walk long distances for that matter. I used to walk/jog a bit.. heck walking 7-8miles daily wasn't a big deal for me. It was my thing and I loved it.
But here's the ironic thing: it's because of all this stepping that I can't do it anymore. You see- I have a lot of weight being put onto my tootsies and that only sped up the inevitable.

Bunions!

I've always had them. But they never bothered me before. Until one day, I was walking and suddenly it felt like nails being hammered into the bone on the side of my big right toe. And it hasn't stopped since. The bone is always bruised.
So I went to the pediatrist and they told me what I've feared all along. At this point, the only fix is to have them removed. One at a time!

All I know about this surgery is that it's painful and has an 8week recovery period. My pre-op appt is Dec 12th. At that time, we decide when I should have the surgery. Should I do it right away? Or wait until Jan? And how long should I wait until I have the other one done?

It's just so frustrating because walking was my main source of exercise. It's what I enjoyed. And since I stopped, the weight has crept back on. I've found myself struggling to stay upbeat. And this is completely out of my control:(

So HOW do I stop feeling sorry about all this? And how not to get depressed during the first few weeks that I can't walk. Especially during the upcoming holiday season? I know it'll all be worth it but even when all is said and done, I have to start all over. And since I no longer have my walking/training partner/friend to get me started, I'm on my own.

I can't wait to be done stopping...and to once again start!

*sigh*... hi remember me??

I just wanted to let ya'll know I'm still alive!!!
I have so much to post about but let's be honest-I probably won't. I have gotten so lazy with it though!

So a few higlights:
-School started
-PTO keeps me busy! (Fall Festival.. holy moly!!)
-Foot surgery in December for bunion removal
-Quick weekend to Mammoth Caves, KY
-7 day cruise to Western Carribean and kids going to Disney during fall break
-Getting ready to go to Az for brothers wedding
-Vegas in December for a 1/2marathon I can't run

I'll post pics soon I promise!!

I needed this today...

And maybe you do too.

It's hard... but it has to be true right?

PS- This is how I want to be! :

Do the things you talked about doing but never did. Know when to let go and when to hold on tight. Stop rushing. Don't be intimidated to say it like it is. Stop apologizing all the time. Learn to say no so your yes has some OOMPH! Spend time with friends that lift you up and cut loose the ones that bring you down. Stop giving your power away. Be more concerned with being interested than being interesting. Be old enough to appreciate your freedom, and young enough to enjoy it. Finally, know who you are. ~Kristin Armstrong

Man.. this is really who I want to be!!!! And now is the time to do it.

Ballet? My kids?

Not sure if I had mentioned this before but last school yr, the School of Nashville Ballet gave an incredible opportunity to a few schools in the metro school district to have kids try out for a full yrs scholarship to study ballet.
SO I figured why not?? So I took the kids down to west end and after waiting forever, they took them back to do who knows what ballet folks do and that was that. I never thought they'd get it but A few months later, we get letters saying both kids were accepted. Being the boy that he is, Reese said no but Rielly was and is thrilled!

So next Saturday, Rielly starts ballet "study" here:

http://www.nashvilleballet.com/school/

Because of the school that it is, they are pretty serious and strict. They produce professionals and expect excellence. No tardys. Complete uniforms. No talking. Etc Etc Etc.
And those things are the least of my concerns!

My fear is how I'm going to turn this:


















Into this:


















They even gave me a bun kit...
heaven help us all!

One of my favorite foods...

Deep Fried Pickles!!!!

You can't come to the south without trying these babies!!
Just trust me k?
And since I know you all are still saving your pennies to come visit me, here's the recipe to try to get you excited.

From Paula Dean:
Ingredients
1 24-ounce Jar Kosher dill pickle spears or slices
1 tsp garlic powder
1/2 cup Louisiana hot sauce (I like Texas Pete)
1/2 cup buttermilk
1 gal peanut oil
2 cups Uncle Bubba’s Fry Mix

Directions

Drain the juice from the pickle jar and refill the jar with the garlic powder, hot sauce, and buttermilk. Marinate the pickles for at least 30 minutes.

In a Dutch oven over medium-high heat, heat the oil to 350 degrees F. Drain the pickles. Put the fry mix in a large mixing bowl, and toss the pickles to coat thoroughly. Shake off the excess mix by tossing lightly in a strainer and deep fry the pickles in batches for 3 to 5 minutes, depending on the size of the spears.

When golden brown, remove the pickles from the oil with a clean strainer or slotted metal spoon and place on paper towels to drain off any excess oil. Serve immediately.

My mouth is watering!!! Too bad I can't cook darn it! Fat Mo's here I come!