Hey friends! Vote for my kids would ya??? We could use the money for summer clothes! You can vote once everyday :)

https://apps.facebook.com/promotionshq/contests/210794/voteable_entries/48180488

My new baby!!!

And I love her!

What the hey is it you say?? Well I'll tell you-

The Silhouette CAMEO® is an electronic cutting tool for personal use. Like a home printer, it plugs into your PC or Mac® with a simple USB cable. However, instead of printing it uses a small blade to cut paper, cardstock, vinyl, fabric and more up to 12" wide and 10 feet long. The machine also boasts a quiet motor and the ability to register and cut printed materials.

Why do I like it? Because for $18/mo, I can get $150 worth of images (.99each) and unlike a cricut cartridge, I pick which images I want. I can cut ANY font I have on my computer. I can create images through the program, print it and then have my cricut cut it out perfectly. I can cut vinyl of any length. Etc Etc Etc.

Here's a few projects I made with it. Keep in mind, I've only had it a few weeks and haven't played too much but it really is fun!

Invites for K.B.'s sons graduation brunch

Easter baskets for the kiddos

My very first project

Changes

I'm still here!
I miss all my blogging friends.
Life gets busy... I shouldn't let that stop me from blogging though.

I have started to blog on www.runphattyrun.blogspot.com

Not really about running anymore tho.
But I'll be on here more often and get better abt sharing my life with the world!

Letting Go

Confession: I was on a dark road last night driving home from dinner with friends and I was looking at my phone. It wasn't like I wasn't watching the road or anything but I'll call this awful,illegal, and dangerous multitasking. Not sure why but I just put it down suddenly and looked up. A guy was walking down this road wearing black and had I not been looking at that exact moment, I would have not seen him and hit him. There was no voice in my ear saying look up. No powerful kick. But it was something giving me that feeling to look up. I could have hurt someone last night. He was stupid to be walking down that road but still.. it would have been bad.
Why am I saying this? Because I believe this was one of those moments that I truely felt I was being protected by an unseen power. And so was the idiot wearing black on a black road at almost 11pm.
And why was I?
Me- who has basically all but given up believing that God is truely mindful of me. Me- who has pretty much let those I attend church with affect my desire to attend anymore.
Me- who has many times had such anger in my heart that I questioned all I have been taught and almost threw it all away.
Why would I have been saved from a lifetime of regret and flashbacks and knowledge that my decisions not only changed my life but someone elses for the worst?

I don't know.

But I was.

And it is a kick in the pants. It's time to get things back in gear.
Time to stop letting other peoples choices and actions affect me.
Time to be okay that I'm not accepted by many people I worship with.
Time to be okay with the fact that I possibly will never feel another child growing in side me.
Time to be accountable for my own thoughts and actions rather than blaming others. Time to be okay if people don't like me and stop harboring my own feelings of dislike.
Time to hand things over to God and let Him help me with my time.
Time to LET IT GO!

As I was thinking about this this morning and thinking about the things and people and friendships I have lost lately and the feelings I have felt, this song kept coming into my mind.
I hope I can do this.. because it is time.
And it is freeing!

I can still recall the hour
my father told me it was time
to let it go.
Though it's mended wing had made it sing
He said the bird I cared for was not really mine,
Let it go.

"Letting go," he said, "seems to break your heart.
Though it will heal it feels slow to start."
Though the pain burned within me so,
He held me tight so I could let it go.

Years have passed since then,
And so has he, but I still hear his words,
"Let it go."
There's so much of life that can't be lived
When you're still holding on to hate and anger deep inside.
Let it go.

Letting go opens up the heart.
There is a new day hungry to start.
You can't change what has hurt you so,
But you will heal if you can let it go.

All that's wrong in your life
Let it go.
All that is worth saving is love.
Love will hold you tight,
Love lifts the burden,
And love shines the light.
Only love nourishes us so;
If it's not love, simply let it go.
**Michael McLean

I just read this passage that was written in another blog from the book "The Continous Atonement" and I found it appropriate for what I need to remember:

God is bound to love me. It is his nature to love perfectly and infinitely. He is bound to love me – not because I am good, but because He is good. Love is so central to his character that the scriptures actually say, ‘God is love” (1 John 4:8, 16; emphasis added). … Not only did He require me to have faith and confidence in Him, but He is required to have faith and confidence in me. … God and Jesus are bound to believe in me – in my potential and possibilities – even when I don’t. God is bound to be as close to me as He is to any of His children because He is a perfect parent.

He believes in me and that I can be strong again.. because of this, I own it to Him to believe in myself!

My baby turned 7!!!

I never imagined I would only have 2 kids. I always assumed coming from a family of 11 kids that I would at least have 4 or 5. But I have been blessed with 2. And yesterday my baby turned 7yrs old! How and when did that happen?
She is beautiful. And spunky. And challenging. And funny. And artistic. And smart. And spastic. And imaginative. And everything I could have ever imagined my daughter to be.. and more!

Happy Birthday Rielly!!

1 week Check-up

Went to my one week post op checkup on Wednesday. Everything is healing nicely. Thank goodness!!! I don't know what I was expecting but seeing my foot caused me a lot of anxiety. Maybe because for 30+yrs, I've had the same shape of foot. Sure- parts have grown and shifted but that's all I've known. What I was seeing wasn't my foot! There was no bone bulging out of the side of my toe. I kept saying "this isn't normal". Jon and Dr Knox both said "This IS normal". Needless to say, I went pale and almost passed out looking at it uncovered.
But eventually, I will have a pretty foot!

This is showing the straight cut next to my big toe and the staple that is holding my toe together.

Here's a closeup of the staple.

My lovely swollen bruised bunionless foot.

My new shoe!

My first New Yrs resolution...

Change in my surroundings.

I've realize a lot that who/what I surround myself with or who/what I bother to care about in my life can make all the difference in my personality and feelings towards life itself.
This past week, I've done nothing but reflect on the blessings I've been given in my life. I have been stuggling with this recovery but all around me, God has put people in my path that truely care about me and love me and are willing to serve unselfishly. It has been eye opening and very life changing. Those are the people I need to keep in my life and remove all thoughts and cares for those that don't.
That is my resolution #1!
I also don't want to be that person that is a negative nelly in someones life. So maybe by changing my thoughts and surroundings, I'll be able to be let into others lives where I wouldn't have been otherwise. Does that make sense? Enough being the grinch with the heart too sizes too small!!!!
I apologize to all those that I have been a toxic friend to! I promise this is something I'm going to work real hard on. Don't give up on me just yet!!!


I came across an article today about this very thing that I'll share here to serve as a constant reminder to myself.


Discovering and removing the negative influences in our life will help us more than we realize. Studies show that our own thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are a reflection of the people we spend the most time with.

All too often, we are faced with negative people and influences that surround us and affect us as a person, in all areas of our life. “Toxic” people are like vampires . They suck the life and energy right out of you. Toxic people are ultimately the people who cause you the most negative stress in your life. They are the people that make you feel unhappy, or spoil your mood purposely every chance they get.

Toxic people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy, and all too often, they will squash any type of lifestyle change YOU are trying to make. Toxic people are just pieces of the obstacle course you will run through in your efforts obtain your nutrition and fitness goals, and they have a detrimental effect on your mental thoughts and mental toughness.

Who wants or needs that?

Toxic people truly believe that they are constantly taken advantage of by others and that bad things are always happening to them. They are often the people who make mountains out of molehills. Toxic people are those who think they are doing something right, by complaining and blowing up almost any situation, whether it is a small issue or a large one.

Amazingly, toxic people believe their negative comments are helping to solve the situation in some way. In addition, they often rely on others to entertain them or make them happy. Even if it’s not other people, they often rely on some kind of outside source to keep them happy. All too often, toxic people find this happiness in social settings with food and drinks, which ends up being a “perfect” setting to express their negativity.

Unfortunately, toxic people are everywhere; just take a moment to look around. Don’t let them take your happiness away or affect your mood. Toxic people only have as much power, control, and impact on our lives that we allow them to have.

Each day, we are faced with a decision and need to say to ourselves, “I can either allow these negative and “toxic” people to ruin my day and my actions for that day, or I can choose to rise above them, completely remove them from my life, or speak motivating words to them and move on!” At that point, it is up to them as to whether they choose to use the motivating words to their advantage or not.

Toxic people need boundaries, and giving them a time limit lets them know you will only tolerate a small amount of negativity. Check your watch, allow them to vent for two minutes, give them some positive words of encouragement and then move away and fill your head with positive affirmations and thoughts as soon as you can!

Transform your energy into positive energy and remove these negative “toxic” people from your life. I realize that these toxic people might include close friends or even family members. Remember, in order for you to reach your goal you must stay focused on the end result , remind yourself what is most important to you, and if your friend or family member can’t support you with your goals, why are they in your life… and do they truly care for you and your well-being?

So, my question to you is: who do you spend the most time with, and do they help you toward your goals or pull you away from them?

So how do I get there??? This is where I will be working the hardest.

Goal #1: NO GOSSIPING!

Goal #2: No WHINING OR COMPLAINING ABOUT OTHERS OR THINGS BEYOND MY CONTROL(in public anyways... my blog and with my hubby is a different story)

Goal #3: NO CO-DEPENDENCY- this was a big problem for me this year and ended up leaving me hurt and taken advantage of.

Goal #4: NO CROSS CONTAMINATION- just because I'm present in a situation, doesn't mean I need to participate on an emotional level.

Goal #5: NO BEING "HOLIER THAN THOU". I will be avoiding people like this so why would I want to be one myself? By running around thinking I'm better than others will only alienate myself. Get over myself.. I am no better or worse than anyone else!

And what do I wish to achieve by doing this? I will be able to enjoy life and consciously become who it is that I want to be- not who others want me to be! Bridges will be burnt. I am preparing myself for that. There are people in my life sadly that I need to be removed from to avoid drama and heartache. That will be the hardest thing. But as the saying goes... "the ladder of success is never crowded at the top".

Now I just hope that I become the person that people want in their lives... no more the person that was removed.