Sunday, November 27, 2011

I hate depression

Why I hate depression:

It sneaks up on me when I least expect it.
It's a silent menance.
It interferes with my life and completely alters the way I think about things.
It pushes people away.
It makes me doubt myself and others.
I hate knowing I have to be on medication for the rest of my life to keep a bandaid on it.
I hate knowing there's no reason I'm suffering from this- just my unfortunate lot in life.
I hate being unhappy.
I hate smiling and pretending everything is great when inside I'm just blue.
I hate the weight that has crept on while I so desperately want to take it off because of the change in meds..I hate the comments being made abt said weight gain.
I hate that the people who I need the most don't understand why I'm struggling.
I hate waiting for the meds to kick back in after I try to go off them and the dissapointment I feel in myself that I can't go off them.

Because right now I am waiting.

Depression sucks. I don't recommend it.

But..tomorrow I'll be just fine!


Hyder Ali said...

ditto to all of that. *sending good vibes your way*

Kris said...

Big hugs from me to you- wish I was there.

Tell me who they are- I'll punch 'em in the nose for ya!

Kenningtons said...

It's probably not related but after I had KG I had pretty traumatic post-partum depression. I've never suffered from depression before but that bout really rocked my world. It was SCARY! I can totally relate to what you were saying about depression. It's a very lonely and confusing place. I literally couldn't function, I would bawl my eyes out all day and all night until I was so exhausted from crying (on top of having a newborn!) I would collapse, and I felt like such a failure as a mother. Not a good state to be in! I hope you start feeling better soon! I'm rooting for you and thinking of you!