Saturday, February 27, 2010

Learning to forgive

This week has been a wake up call for Jon and I in terms of learning to forgive. Not just learning how but getting to the point where we actually WANT to forgive the offender and then making the steps to do so. Our situations were different but equally important because neither of us could truely be happy until we dealt with our issues. I feel Jon is a lot stronger than I when it comes to letting go but I know it was a struggle for him and I am truely glad he was able to have that change of heart. I have a tendancy to hold on to things longer and have a tendancy to hold grudges but I want to let go and forgive so it's something I am working really hard on. It's been nice to have an amazing husband willing to listen and work through these feelings with me. I am blessed!!!

While reading up on forgiveness and trying to help myself, I came across this article that I really enjoyed and if you are struggling with this sort of thing, maybe it will help you too.

"When a deep injury is done to us, we never recover
until we forgive." -Alan Paton

Depending on your circumstances, forgiveness may seem impossible
to you right now. You've probably endured a lot of heartache and
pain while going through this process and the blame and or guilt
that you may be experiencing can keep you stuck from moving forward.

Whether you blame the other person or have guilt and you beat
yourself up over it, learning to forgive will put you on the right path.
It will be a gift you give to yourself.

Even though you may not feel capable of forgiveness right now; the
sooner you do this...the sooner you will...let go for good. You have to learn how to forgive the other person. have to forgive yourself!

If you've made mistakes, forgive yourself and go on. There is nothing you can do now to change the past, but you can affect your future.

Forgiving yourself takes the pressure off of you for not being perfect.
And, it gets rid of guilt. You must learn to forgive yourself before you can forgive others.

We are all on a journey through life. Sometimes we make mistakes, which is part of a normal process on this journey. The mistakes that we make can result in painful experiences; these are the "lessons of life." But, it is through these trials that we learn the most.

The key is learning something from what has caused you pain so as not to repeat the same mistakes again. Walk away from this situation with the knowledge that you are stronger and smarter. Forgiving will open that door.

Second, forgive him or her. If you don't, you will be holding onto the past.
You may carry anger and resentment around with you which will hurt you...more than them.

Harboring negative emotions can make you bitter and resentful. It can and will permeate all areas of your life and it makes it more difficult to enjoy today.

Not forgiving keeps you trapped exactly where you don't want to be...
holding onto memories of the past. Every time you begin to think
of this person; what they did or didn't do, what you said or didn't say, consciously release them from your mind. Let these thoughts go and fill your mind with thoughts of goodness and the things that you are looking forward to experiencing in your life.

Gaining control of your thoughts, releasing all of the negative
memories and releasing all of the imagined confrontations you could have with this person will be the beginning of letting go of what is behind you and moving on to a better future.

You can't change the past but you can make a significant difference in how you approach what's ahead of you. Stay focused on the positive.
Stay focused on what you want, not on what you had that didn't work.

Once you find forgiveness you will regain control of you life. It's your choice!

A pretty good day!

I don't know why but I felt like blogging today! I had a pretty good day with my famdamily today. Started off I went with Reese to a Lowe's free building project where he could put a kit together of a car robot. We got there on time, but all the slots were taken and didn't look like we were going to get a turn at it. So I had them give me the kit to take home.

Then I took Reese and I to get a haircut at SportsClips. It's been the only haircut place around here that has actually done a decent job, and today was no exception! When that was done we came back home to pick up the ladies and went to the movies! Shannon the coupon deal queen found a good deal on tickets. We were able to go pretty much half off at the matinee's and Reese and I saw the Percy Jackson movie and Shannon and Rielly went to see the Tooth Fairy. Mom and Dad weren't so impressed with either movie, but the kids enjoyed it. And now Shannon and I still have tickets left over for our own!

After the movie we came home and Reese and I built the car, here's some pics:

Friday, February 26, 2010

Please go back to being little?!?!?

Being a mommy is hard!
Yesterday I experienced probably the most heart wrenching day I have had as of yet in my motherhood yrs. My heart was broken for my little boy.

He goes to 1st grade at an elementary school here in the metro Nashville school district. I have been happy with them so far but now my mommy emotions have taken over. He rides a bus the mile or so to school which is very convienant for me. But yesterday he gets off the bus very very VERY upset with red marks on his face. Apparently a BIG BOY (a 3rd grader) formed a "club" and the purpose of this club is to beat my son up. WTH?!?!?!? So this 3rd grader sits right across from Reese. Needless to say, there was a little fight and he got hurt. Not bad but some marks on his face. When he told me about this, he was so worried that he was going to get in trouble. And my heart broke in a thousand pieces! Of course some of the kids that were also involved has a great mom that doesn't put up with it one bit either and those kids won't be doing it again but my concern is this 3rd grader and why he wants to hurt my son so bad? And then he was telling me about another kid who was teasing him about his shoes. And I ask you... where was the bus driver?!?!?!? These kids all sit in front and she just ignored this? When I send my kids to school, I am entrusting these adults with his LIFE! And she just ignores fighting like that? So I sent him back on the bus which just about KILLED me. The protector in me wants to grab him, walk him to class and be there by the door when the bell rings but I can't do that. I need to give them a chance to make it right. I wrote a letter to the driver basically explaining what happened and where the heck was she and if Reese continues to sit by these kids, I will pull him off the bus and take the problem to the school administration.
You see... I am ultra sensative about this kind of stuff. I was teased in school so much to the point where it physically pained me to get up in the morning and will myself to go. Because I knew that it was going to happen. My parents did all they could but the teachers weren't helpful at all. And this continued until around my HS yrs. I was teased because of my upturned nose. Now how in the heck is that my fault??!?!? I didn't get to choose what nose I would get so why did i have to suffer day after day because of it? And the sad thing is these kids that didn't probably never thought about how this would affect me throughout my whole life! It has been a struggle to ever truely feel like I can fit in with anyone and I have had to work to gain whatever confidence and self-esteem I have because in the back of my head, I still hear those taunts. I made choices I regret because I wanted to be accepted.

I don't ever want my children to share that same fate.

Reeses prayer this morning was "please don't let (boys name) have his club".

Yes Heavenly Father... please don't.

So I cried. Not in front of him. I am strong with him. But I cried. Because I know it hurts. He's so young but it has to hurt. And I just want to hold him and protect him from the mean harsh world that awaits him. I know I can't.. but oh how I wish I could. Where is this bubble I can put over him to shield him from the bullies? And why are kids bullies anyways? Is it a cry for attention themselves? A way to make them feel better? I guess the good thing that came out of what I went through is that I could never EVER intentionally hurt the feelings of someone else.

Anyways today, I want my babies to just be little. To stay innocent. I want to hold them longer. And will never let a day go by without telling them how special they are. And how much they are loved. I will do everything in my power to make sure they know they are truely Children of God.

Tuesday, February 23, 2010

I love this stamp set!!!

When I saw this stamp set on the website, I HAD to have it!! I love it!!

It's from a company called Skipping Stones Designs.

The only thing I don't like abt the company is their website is SOOO slow!!!!

Anyways this set is called Funny Bras volume 1. LOVE it!!!

Here's the set on it's own and then what I came up with. SO fun!!! I also made the same in yellow. Can't have too many fun bra colors right??

Weigh-in for 2/23

Not too bad of a week!

Jon lost 5
I lost 3

Total for the first 4wks...
Jon -16
me -8

We're working hard... here's to another successful week!!!!

Saturday, February 20, 2010

Coupon totals for first 2 weeks of Feb

I decided to start keeping track of my savings at the store. Im behind so I'm just going to record the totals from the 6th of Feb up til now.

This doesn't include Walmart runs because I don't use coupons there very much and I really don't like going there much and I forgot to save my Target receipts. And I'm sure theres a few receipts here and there that I've forgotten. Like I said- I'm new at this and new at recording so from today on out, I will save every receipt and report:)

spent: 43.81
saved: 177.71

spent: 13.32
saved: 58.14 (also received about $18 in coupons for free meat)

Harris Teeter
spent: 12.61
saved: 109.21

spent: 69.74
saved: 345.06
Looking forward to another super double Harris Teeter run (I never go there unless its super doubles because they're expensive) and then Publix has some awesome stuff going on where I will come home with more soup and broth that I will ever need for practically nothing... and Target will be seeing a lot of me to get more Special K fruit crisps and $5 gift cards!

Friday, February 19, 2010

Always apologizing!!!

Once again.. I must apologize for the absence of the window into my life. Sadly there hasn't been much to see. Reese turned 7- that was very cool! He's growing up so fast!! That was also my dads 4th dead-day anniversary. So it's kind of a bitter/sweet time for me. Especially this yr with the re-marriage of my mom.
I have to admit since this is my blog and my life and I can write whatever I want right?
Well here it is.... I am having a hardtime with her marriage. Not because of her getting married. I think it's great. No one should be alone. But I am having a hardtime dealing with the circumstances around it and the big seperation it has caused in our family and the man she married. And contrary to what I've been told and what people think, it is NOT MY FAULT! I don't like her husband. I tried. But I don't. I can't be faulted for that. We can't love everyone right? I don't agree with a lot of things that have been said and done. And I refuse to support something I don't believe in. And because of this, I am the bad guy. But I do support the life my mom had with my dad. And I support the family they raised. I'm tired of being someone to blame. I'm tired of feeling bad that I feel this way. It has affected me far more than people think and as much as I don't want to, I am going to have to remove myself from the situation until I get to the point that I don't care anymore.
So I'm sure this doesn't make sense.... but if nothing else, take this with you. We will never fully understand or comprehend the affects and impact we have on others whether good or bad.
So for this I will not apologize for.. I will not be sorry for standing up for what I believe in. But I'm sorry this post is a downer.

Got this far? Good for you!!!!!

Oh a better note, I found a new hobby. COUPONING!!!!! So hopefully soon, I'm going to be able to post my huge savings I've been having at grocery stores. I love it!! We have saved so much money on food and toiletries.... so really its more of an obsession than a hobby!

And on the weightloss front- I've lost 6lbs and Jon 12lbs. Stay tuned on Tuesday when we have our next weigh-ins!

And on a real good front.. my sister Amber married Josh and they will soon be moving to Texas!!! I am excited because she will be closer to me.. just a short plane ride away. And she still likes me:)

Monday, February 8, 2010

Just some more January pictures....

Since I got a tad behind in blogging, I figured I'd throw together a blog of pictures-- not too much happened in Jan. Reese got awards at school for music, reading and being a good citizen:). We had to switch realtors because Duffy Realty in GA SUCKS! They let our contract expire without even contacting us. So we hooked up with Caldwell and they advised us to go down and paint the house and we would get better results. Still hasn't sold yet but we're hopeful!
Oh and I went from blond to real dark:)

Pretty much everthing else was blogged abt- the snow, Jons trip to Florida, etc. Oh and we did start our weightloss new yrs resolution. We just finished week 2 and tomorrow is weigh in. Our first week, I lost 3lbs and Jon lost 6. Wish us luck!!!

Me and Reese and his awards
Reese, his buddy and neighbor Jerry and Ethan (Jerrys little brother)

He was sooooooo excited!!!!!!

Bad pic- but my hair is now brown and red.

Our friends came down with us to help with painting. Here is Mike painting over my lovely yellow... The green hall is also gone as well as the pink and blue bedrooms. Sad!
But heres the after results. Nice huh????????

Oh and my vinyl came down too...:(

Nothing like love notes on the wall! Too bad we had to paint over it

And just my cutey patootie Rielly

Snow in Nashville

Being west coast people, snow is such a rare sight. Who could have thought we'd get some here in Nashville?!?!? But we did... and this family really wasn't prepared for this type of thing but we made due with what we had and had a great time! This was from our end of Jan "storm" we had. The snow was great... until it turned to ice and the roads were so bad that we couldn't leave for seriously 3 days!!! Talk about cabin fever in our little box that we live in! Enjoy the pictures of our fun day(s).

Harris Family
Daddy and his kiddos

mommy and my babies with the sun blaring down

The love of my life!!!

Jon was able to clean off the snow/ice from our windshield in 2-3 pieces!

opps.. guess these pics are a little out of order

Self portrait of US

Rielly found a chair... here she is with her "brother" George

Jon cleaning off his car... well actually he was throwing snowballs at Reese

Me and my snow bunny (although shes done in like 10 minutes)

The hills in front of our apartment were covered so we took some rubbermaid tote lids and the kids had fun sliding... Reese more than Rielly but she did go down a few times.

our snow covered hills

This was right before she biffed it down the hill

This little guy was in heaven!!!!

nice.... a little joke for this poor SUV

And as Im looking out the window right now, it is once again.... snowing!