Saturday, December 24, 2011

My first New Yrs resolution...

Change in my surroundings.

I've realize a lot that who/what I surround myself with or who/what I bother to care about in my life can make all the difference in my personality and feelings towards life itself.
This past week, I've done nothing but reflect on the blessings I've been given in my life. I have been stuggling with this recovery but all around me, God has put people in my path that truely care about me and love me and are willing to serve unselfishly. It has been eye opening and very life changing. Those are the people I need to keep in my life and remove all thoughts and cares for those that don't.
That is my resolution #1!
I also don't want to be that person that is a negative nelly in someones life. So maybe by changing my thoughts and surroundings, I'll be able to be let into others lives where I wouldn't have been otherwise. Does that make sense? Enough being the grinch with the heart too sizes too small!!!!
I apologize to all those that I have been a toxic friend to! I promise this is something I'm going to work real hard on. Don't give up on me just yet!!!

I came across an article today about this very thing that I'll share here to serve as a constant reminder to myself.

Discovering and removing the negative influences in our life will help us more than we realize. Studies show that our own thoughts, attitudes and behaviors are a reflection of the people we spend the most time with.

All too often, we are faced with negative people and influences that surround us and affect us as a person, in all areas of our life. “Toxic” people are like vampires . They suck the life and energy right out of you. Toxic people are ultimately the people who cause you the most negative stress in your life. They are the people that make you feel unhappy, or spoil your mood purposely every chance they get.

Toxic people can be a challenge to be around. They will bring you down and drain your energy, and all too often, they will squash any type of lifestyle change YOU are trying to make. Toxic people are just pieces of the obstacle course you will run through in your efforts obtain your nutrition and fitness goals, and they have a detrimental effect on your mental thoughts and mental toughness.

Who wants or needs that?

Toxic people truly believe that they are constantly taken advantage of by others and that bad things are always happening to them. They are often the people who make mountains out of molehills. Toxic people are those who think they are doing something right, by complaining and blowing up almost any situation, whether it is a small issue or a large one.

Amazingly, toxic people believe their negative comments are helping to solve the situation in some way. In addition, they often rely on others to entertain them or make them happy. Even if it’s not other people, they often rely on some kind of outside source to keep them happy. All too often, toxic people find this happiness in social settings with food and drinks, which ends up being a “perfect” setting to express their negativity.

Unfortunately, toxic people are everywhere; just take a moment to look around. Don’t let them take your happiness away or affect your mood. Toxic people only have as much power, control, and impact on our lives that we allow them to have.

Each day, we are faced with a decision and need to say to ourselves, “I can either allow these negative and “toxic” people to ruin my day and my actions for that day, or I can choose to rise above them, completely remove them from my life, or speak motivating words to them and move on!” At that point, it is up to them as to whether they choose to use the motivating words to their advantage or not.

Toxic people need boundaries, and giving them a time limit lets them know you will only tolerate a small amount of negativity. Check your watch, allow them to vent for two minutes, give them some positive words of encouragement and then move away and fill your head with positive affirmations and thoughts as soon as you can!

Transform your energy into positive energy and remove these negative “toxic” people from your life. I realize that these toxic people might include close friends or even family members. Remember, in order for you to reach your goal you must stay focused on the end result , remind yourself what is most important to you, and if your friend or family member can’t support you with your goals, why are they in your life… and do they truly care for you and your well-being?

So, my question to you is: who do you spend the most time with, and do they help you toward your goals or pull you away from them?

So how do I get there??? This is where I will be working the hardest.


Goal #2: No WHINING OR COMPLAINING ABOUT OTHERS OR THINGS BEYOND MY CONTROL(in public anyways... my blog and with my hubby is a different story)

Goal #3: NO CO-DEPENDENCY- this was a big problem for me this year and ended up leaving me hurt and taken advantage of.

Goal #4: NO CROSS CONTAMINATION- just because I'm present in a situation, doesn't mean I need to participate on an emotional level.

Goal #5: NO BEING "HOLIER THAN THOU". I will be avoiding people like this so why would I want to be one myself? By running around thinking I'm better than others will only alienate myself. Get over myself.. I am no better or worse than anyone else!

And what do I wish to achieve by doing this? I will be able to enjoy life and consciously become who it is that I want to be- not who others want me to be! Bridges will be burnt. I am preparing myself for that. There are people in my life sadly that I need to be removed from to avoid drama and heartache. That will be the hardest thing. But as the saying goes... "the ladder of success is never crowded at the top".

Now I just hope that I become the person that people want in their lives... no more the person that was removed.

1 comment:

Beth said...

I need to have this as my resolution as well. Hope you are feeling better with each passing day! Merry Christmas, Shannon!