Monday, September 20, 2010

Posts from the past...

I found 3 of my old journals from when I was super young. So I thought it'd be fun to repost some of the entries from them since I'm already SOOOO behind on blogging about the here and now (I'll do it.. no worries). I may have to hide some names because I was quite the crusher and it makes me laugh but I still know a lot of these people! Enjoy- or not because I was quite troubled at times. Like this entry.... now sure what was going on but I was quite depressed it seems.

I had this feeling that I really needed to write in my journal. I'm not feeling very good right now. I feel so weak. I don't know what's happening to me but whatever it is, I hope it goes away soon. I need to say how much I love my family. I didn't lead the greatest life and maybe I wasn't the best example but I tried. I have so much to live for yet no future. My vision of life to come is blurred and all I want is to be happy and free of lifes pain and burdens. I'm scares. I can't see tomorrow. I love all my friends. They're a strength to me. I wish I had it right now. I hope that I'm never forgotten and I've made an impact on someone. Please- remember me forever. I'm scared to be alone and that's how I feel right now. Righting this is taking away so much strength and my heart is breaking. I hope Jesus stays with me always and helps me through my trials that face me now and to come. Thank you everyone who was my friends. I love everyone. I need to get some sleep.

It sure has been awhile since I last wrote. Well, since the last time I thought was going to die. Obviously I didn't. Right now I'm in my dorm room at Girls State. (Girls State was a week long camp learning about government- I think it was between my Jr and Sr year). Yesterday was so freakin boring. I totally wanted to go home. All we're doing is learning about government and it's really not my thing. Today I was elected city magistrate and the city shrink. It's great. I'm gonna run for superior court judge. My roommate is pretty cool. We don't talk much but oh well. The food here sucks! I'm homesick- that's crazy! I've met the coolest people here. My neighbor is Amanda **** and she's so awesome- I love her! D***** N***** told me that he wants to marry me again. He's NUTS!

Stay tuned for more!


Kris said...

I actually got out my journal from when I was young last week also- for that lesson in YW. Apparently you were a MUCH better journalist than I, because my entries were WAY few & far between. Slacker, I know.

It's interesting to read how we all thought back then- I have to say I did consider burning parts of mine. I would be HORRIFIED to have my daughter read what I was up to as a teenager!!!

manda carol said...

Shannon you are a much braver soul than I am. I can't imagine letting anyone read my journal entries- especially from high school! Although it does make me want to go back and read through them. Isn't it an interesting lesson on perspective. Back then we thought we had it all figured out and now we look back on how little we really knew. Makes you wonder what it will be like when we look back on our entire lives and realize how so many of the things we thought we'd never make it through were really for our good. Love the posts!