Sunday, January 23, 2011
Today I felt God...
in a Glee episode of all things!
Season 2 episode 3 "Cheesus"...
Not sure really why it had to be this show that struck me but it was moving. Finn made a grilled cheese sandwich with his George Forman grill and when it came out, it had a picture of Christ burnt on it. So he started praying to Grilled Cheesus. It was pretty funny but sad at the same time...he figured praying to Jesus was like a genie and he gets 3 wishes.
Kirks dad had a heart attack and the believers in Glee club all wanted to pray for him but Kirk announced that he didn't believe in God...but thankfully Mercedes didn't give up.
Sue Sylvester also doesn't believe in God because her sister who has downs syndrom wasn't cured through all the prayers Sue prayed as a child. But even after all this, it was Sue's sister that said "God doesn't make mistakes".
I know it's just a show but this woman is living in a home and is handicapped and if she can believe that she truely wasn't a mistake, why can't I believe that God doesn't make mistakes with me?
So many things have happened in my life where I have felt so abandoned by the one who promised to never leave us. My dads untimely and unfair death was the big one. My stupid choices I made in my younger days. My struggle with infertility. So many things that have been so hard for me to handle and so devistating for me to deal with...but the one thing that I have failed to realize is that I am still here. And I am still standing. I have scars and I may ache when the weather changes but I am still walking on my own two feet. If that's not a testiment to God never leaving me, then I don't know what is. He has brought people into my life to act as a crutch when I stumble. He has given me a husband and two beautiful children that mend my broken heart daily. It's not God who has made the mistakes. It's ME who needs to learn how to handle the trials I'm given because God has a plan for me. I admittedly argue and complain about these trials cuz well... they pretty much suck. My dads death was a huge blow on my faith and I'm still not recovered from that. I doubt I ever will be. And I doubt I will ever understand why he had to get struck down with that horrible disease and suffer the way he did. Heck I don't even pretend to understand a lot of things. But the fact of the matter is, it wasn't a mistake. And me not being able to get pregnant isn't a mistake.. and I had to say it but can't deny that it is in Gods hands. I get so angry about it but that anger doesn't do a darn thing to bring us a baby. It just affects me.
So today I thank you Glee and your wicked and scandalous ways of teaching me that God truely does know what the hell He's doing.