Sunday, March 1, 2009

Challenges

Life is full of them. It seems for me, challenges are a constant in my life. Today I faced a big one. Reese just turned 6. He is a freakin smart kid. It's amazing to me how far he has come this yr- he reads, he writes, he draws, he's very technological, etc.... and he is also very hard to handle. He is the type of kid that can find that small bit of weakness in a person and just feeds on it. If given a chance, he will eat you alive. And that today was our challenge. His poor church teacher is the sweetest lady! I couldn't ask for a better person to teach him. And man does he push her buttons. Lately during primary, he has to be the kid that's called on to help or to answer questions and if he's not, all you know what breaks loose. And while I understand that, no one else does nor should they and he looks like a massive trouble maker and causes a lot of disruption, headache, chaos, etc. He actually had to removed from his class today because he wanted to open his chair.. and because he knows he can do that, he doesn't think anyone else does... including his teacher! So he really gave her a hard time and there's only so much of other people kids one should have to take. So I'm at a loss as what to do. He has so much going on in that little body of his and he just doesn't know how to express it without taking on a superior attitude that a 6yr old doesn't need to be having. But like I said- he is such a brilliant kid! I just don't know how to center that, ya know? I feel bad for him because I know he doesn't feel understood and wants to be everyone friend even if they don't, I feel bad for his teachers because he wants all the attention when she has several other kids fighting for it too, and selfishly I feel bad for me because I get to my limit and just don't know what to do:(

And another challenge I'm facing is within myself. Believe it or not, I don't have a lot of self-confidence. As a lot of you know, I was teased a lot as a kid and it still affects me today. I have a bad self-image and assume that because of my outside appearance or life situations, people won't want to get to know me. And fortunately adults aren't always like that and don't torment like what I went through as a kid and thankfully I really do have some amazing friends. But the kid in me and recent experiences cause me to be afraid that I won't always have that. Silly I know but we all have those fun days when we need a pity party and this is my day. Lucky for ya'll, no one is invited to this party!

5 comments:

Kenningtons said...

I don't really have any first hand experience about the whole situation with Reese BUT I have heard that "Parenting With Love and Logic" is an amazing tool! I guess it takes away power struggles because you give the child all the power...but you still have control (does that make any sense??). It's all about giving the child choices that BOTH of you can live with (i.e. "would you rather wear this outfit or this outfit today?"). The thing that makes it effective is that it teaches the child to be own their decisions (i.e. they don't want to wear a coat when it's 45 degrees. No worries, they get cold, not your problem, and next time they make a better choice...something like that). Maybe something like this would work with Reese? Especially as smart as he is!!!

I used this method when I was teaching (except I used Teaching With Love and Logic) and let me tell you it totally change me! It really made teaching enjoyable because I didn't feel responsible for my students' poor choices.

That can't be an easy situation to deal with!! I hope you find something that helps. Let me know....I am in need of something to get me through the "toddler year" moments!

Rebecca said...

You are a dear friend Shannon. I love spending time with you.
As for Reese.....hmmm. I get stumped on knowing what to do with my kids. Good Luck.

Kris said...

I swear, girl. Sometimes it's like you're writing about MY life on your blog!

Emma is "that" kid in our ward, too. She has Sensory Processing Disorder (which basically means that she just NEEDS to wiggle- not a choice- her body HAS TO wiggle to function correctly) & her Primary teachers have a hard time dealing with her. Hey, I have a hard time dealing with her! Sometimes I just want to grab her & take her home where I can understand her, protect her, and shield her from these struggles she has. But, we all know that can't happen. So, off to church we go, and I deal with it from week to week.

I try very hard to make sure that she is in the best mood, full belly, etc, and off she goes. After that, I choose to let go & accept that it becomes her teacher's responsibility to work with her. It's their calling, right? And if all else fails, she can come sit with me & we'll try again next week. I hope that things get better for you guys!

You have always been such a sweet & fun girl- don't you forget that you're a wonderful wife, mother & friend & that's what matters. No one else's opinion matters at all. Luv ya, babe!

burkfamily1 said...

That's tough. It's really a blessing that we can understand our children that well, though. I hope things work out well. I'm glad he has a good teacher.
I was teased a lot as a kid too, and it's really hard seeing that it still has an effect on me now. It does really make it hard to feel confident. I just try hard to believe that Heavenly Father has confidence in me, so I can too. But it's still hard sometimes. Good luck with things. I'm rooting for you.

Chad & Laura said...

Well, I only have one kid, and she is still crawling, so I am NO help. BUT, I can say that I honestly had to deal with the self-confidence issues before. It sounds like we had a similar experience with other children (aren't they cruel sometimes?!). And have you ever read the book, "The Myth of Self Esteem"? I didn't read it til college. But that (and a mission) cured me of the self confidence issues. Now it is just those every now and then, "Am I in the right place in my life?" types of things . . .

I don't know if this helps any, but I think everyone has days where lucifer is seriously trying to make us forget how truly amazing we are. And so even the little things can seem like large mountains. (At least that is what Sheri Dew said this weekend at a women's conference I went to). You aren't alone in your feelings, rest assured.

Chad's mom said he was a devil child when he was young. And that there were days when his father would get home from work and she would just cry because she had such a hard time with him. Then, she says that he was the nicest, and most hard working teenager (and he still is, though the teens have passed). So, "This, too, shall pass." That is what his mom says, though.

I hope things are going a little better for you now. Hang in there and take care!!