Sunday, May 22, 2011
Tonight when I went upstairs (around 10pm), Reese called me into his room. He was supposed to have been asleep so I was a little annoyed but when he explained why, my heart became very full.
He said he had been praying all night for a new baby and for Heavenly Father to send down an angel to tell him...but no angel has come.
I explained to him that prayers are answered in different ways and maybe the angel is sending a message to his heart.
He then said he doesn't think he has the Holy Ghost anymore.
When I asked why, he said because of the way he treats others.. and started to cry.
At that moment, my heart crumbled for him!
I told him that feeling right there... that's the Holy Ghost telling him how others need to be treated. And as long as he remembers to be kind to others, the Holy Ghost will bring him good peaceful feelings.
A little while later, I went to check on him and he was still waiting for his angel. So I asked him if he wanted to pray again with me and he did. It was short and sweet asking for a baby and this time for an angel in his heart. We then made a promise this week to watch and work with each other to stay happy and positive so we can always feel the Holy Ghost!
My prayer tonight? That Heavenly Father send an angel to my little boys heart.
SERIOUSLY AWESOME CONCERT!!!!
She sang awesome, her show was very entertaining and theatrical and was just fun to watch!
Every song didn't just sing the story, it was acted out as well. So much fun!
At one point she was flying through the air on some platform thing while singing Love Story and she was right in front of us.
Rielly fell asleep for a few songs but loved it as well!
We got free glow stick necklaces and a free tshirt for supporting this benefit..all proceeds are being sent to tornado relief in parts of GA, AL and TN. Just in concert sales, they raised 750k! I have to say, I am extremely impressed by this young star!
Rielly was SOOOOOOO excited for this concert!
And remember I told ya'll how we are concert type people? It's kind of our thing..thats how we choose to spend our extra money and take advantage of our location while we live here.
And so... drum roll please...
I'm going to the CMT awards!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm actually going by myself..not because I have to but because there were no 2 seats next to each other left at all!!! My seat sucks but it's the CMT's!!!!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Sunday, May 15, 2011
So I am coming up with TMTM (Too Much Time Mom) tips.. so maybe people can learn from my example to actually do what I don't! Remember.. do as I say, not as I do!
TMTM Tip #1
As moms (or this mom anyways), we are lucky to get to shave our legs at least twice a month. But ladies did you know we grow hair on our thighs? And not just on the front of our thigh but on the back too!
So my tip today...
at least once a month, remember to shave the backs of your legs so the hair doesn't grow long enough to braid!
Saturday, May 14, 2011
Secondly... I was like 18yrs old when I went to my very first real concert. It was Depeche Mode and man I hope they come here!!!
My daughter gets to go to her very first one when she's 6!!!
She gets to go with mommy to see her 2nd favorite singer next Saturday (1st being Garth.. love that child!)..
Who is it?
Check it out here!
Not sure who's more excited.. her or me?!?!
Plus I am all about helping the victims of the horrible disasters that keep happening to the southern states.
I used to be a bag person but lately I've given up that obsession and money spent on it and go to concerts instead. Some people shop, some people eat, we go to concerts. Priorities right???
Speaking of southern states, have you heard about the cicadas that are going to be taking over our area during the next few weeks? They come out every 13yrs and this is the lucky year! Last time was June 1998. These puppies are NASTY!!!
This was taken last night in front of the kids school. Blech!!!! It's bad there! CRUNCH CRUNCH CRUNCH with every step on that sidewalk!
And lastly.. I'll leave this with you... from the song of the great singer Toby Keith:
If you don't know where you're going, you might end up somewhere else!
The practises have been brutal for me. One of us takes them to the field 5 days a week. Reese has practise M,W and Rielly has it T,Th and then games on Saturday. But the kids like it.
Rielly is just Rielly-- carefree and very distracted. Reese is bossy and thinks he knows everything about soccer (not so much) but very determined and wants to win. They had games today which is another thing.. they don't have games at the same time. So I guess really we're at the field 2x's on Saturday!
Rielly was fun to watch. She runs and then.. ohh look there's a flower! Cracks me up but she tries and is so fun to watch. Reese got in trouble by his coach today because he even tried to boss even the coach around. Oh my son! But he played hard and his team won. Well actually since about 5 kids got hurt, Reese included, basically the winners were those still standing.
Both kids were signed up for the formal wear division. It was fun watching them walk the catwalk and show their own personalities- Reese being a stud and Rielly being shy and sweet (man I miss that part of her personality!)
I wish I had more to say about that but really just posted for the pictures.
So Jon and I started a diet on Monday that we desperately needed to do.
It's called 4hr Body by Tim Ferris.
The jist of it is slow carbs and no sugar. So our diet consists of eggs, beans, veggies, meat, lots of water and only around 16oz of diet coke for me :( . No sugar, dairy, or good stuff! Except on Saturdays. Blessed Beautiful Saturdays!!!! (which is today!). That is our cheat day. We can eat whatever we want! And you know we will- right after I post!
So the results after really only 5days.....
We started Monday and weighed in and measured today.
Jon- lost 12lbs and 2in
Myself- lost 5lbs and 2in
This was just from eating different.. no exercise.
Now that we know it can work, this week we are adding in workouts.
Tune in for next weeks results!
Monday, May 9, 2011
“Finish each day and be done with it. You have done what you could. Some blunders and absurdities have crept in; forget them as soon as you can. Tomorrow is a new day. You shall begin it serenely and with too high a spirit to be encumbered with your old nonsense.” – Emerson
As I begin this new journey.. this new day.. I need to remember that I can't change what I did yesterday, last week, last month, etc but I can choose how today is going to end up.
I'm ready for this new day.
A Chinese proverb goes something like- Don't let yesterday use up too much of today.
Happy Monday my friends!
Sunday, May 8, 2011
You were there for me my first day of school, to hold my hand and give me courage to go.
You listened to me when I needed to talk, you talked to me when I needed to listen.
You let me grow and learn from my own mistakes.
You never left my side when I was feeling down, I knew you would be there to pick me up.
I wish there was a way I could repay all the things you have done for me, but there's nothing great enough to repay the greatest mother of all.
Happy Mother's Day to my mom and all the wonderful moms in my life!
We all have many friends who go through so many things and chances are, we've never experienced them. For instance, I've never been divorced or lost a child (other than miscarriage)but I know many who have. And many other situations as well. I don't know the right thing to say and I'm sure I say the wrong things but I'm really working on myself to be more sensative and loving to those that have.
So my friends- this is my situation in life. Secondary Infertility. It's real. It's not psychological. And it sucks. And there are so many more out there who are struggling as well. It's reassuring to know that my feelings are not mine alone.
So I hope this read helps...don't shun us! Love us!
What RESOLVE has to say about "Infertility Etiquette":
Chances are, you know someone who is struggling with infertility. More than seven million people of childbearing age in the United States experience infertility. Yet, as a society, we are woefully uninformed about how to best provide emotional support for our loved ones during this painful time.
Infertility is, indeed, a very painful struggle. The pain is similar to the grief over losing a loved one, but it is unique because it is a recurring grief. When a loved one dies, he isn't coming back. There is no hope that he will come back from the dead. You must work through the stages of grief, accept that you will never see this person again, and move on with your life.
The grief of infertility is not so cut and dry. Infertile people grieve the loss of the baby that they may never know. They grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes. But, each month, there is the hope that maybe that baby will be conceived after all. No matter how hard they try to prepare themselves for bad news, they still hope that this month will be different. Then, the bad news comes again, and the grief washes over the infertile couple anew. This process happens month after month, year after year. It is like having a deep cut that keeps getting opened right when it starts to heal.
As the couple moves into infertility treatments, the pain increases while the bank account depletes. The tests are invasive and embarrassing to both parties, and you feel like the doctor has taken over your bedroom. And for all of this discomfort, you pay a lot of money.
A couple will eventually resolve the infertility problem in one of three ways:
They will eventually conceive a baby.
They will stop the infertility treatments and choose to live without children.
They will find an alternative way to parent, such as by adopting a child or becoming a foster parent.
Reaching a resolution can take years, so your infertile loved ones need your emotional support during this journey. Most people don't know what to say, so they wind up saying the wrong thing, which only makes the journey so much harder for their loved ones. Knowing what not to say is half of the battle to providing support.
Don't Tell Them to Relax
Everyone knows someone who had trouble conceiving but then finally became pregnant once she "relaxed." Couples who are able to conceive after a few months of "relaxing" are not infertile. By definition, a couple is not diagnosed as "infertile" until they have tried unsuccessfully to become pregnant for a full year. In fact, most infertility specialists will not treat a couple for infertility until they have tried to become pregnant for a year. This year weeds out the people who aren't infertile but just need to "relax." Those that remain are truly infertile.
Comments such as "just relax" or "try going on a cruise" create even more stress for the infertile couple, particularly the woman. The woman feels like she is doing something wrong when, in fact, there is a good chance that there is a physical problem preventing her from becoming pregnant.
These comments can also reach the point of absurdity. As a couple, my husband and I underwent two surgeries, numerous inseminations, hormone treatments, and four years of poking and prodding by doctors. Yet, people still continued to say things like, "If you just relaxed on a cruise . . ." Infertility is a diagnosable medical problem that must be treated by a doctor, and even with treatment, many couples will NEVER successfully conceive a child. Relaxation itself does not cure medical infertility.
Don't Minimize the Problem
Failure to conceive a baby is a very painful journey. Infertile couples are surrounded by families with children. These couples watch their friends give birth to two or three children, and they watch those children grow while the couple goes home to the silence of an empty house. These couples see all of the joy that a child brings into someone's life, and they feel the emptiness of not being able to experience the same joy.
Comments like, "Just enjoy being able to sleep late . . . .travel . . etc.," do not offer comfort. Instead, these comments make infertile people feel like you are minimizing their pain. You wouldn't tell somebody whose parent just died to be thankful that he no longer has to buy Father's Day or Mother's Day cards. Losing that one obligation doesn't even begin to compensate for the incredible loss of losing a parent. In the same vein, being able to sleep late or travel does not provide comfort to somebody who desperately wants a child.
Don't Say There Are Worse Things That Could Happen
Along the same lines, don't tell your friend that there are worse things that she could be going through. Who is the final authority on what is the "worst" thing that could happen to someone? Is it going through a divorce? Watching a loved one die? Getting raped? Losing a job?
Different people react to different life experiences in different ways. To someone who has trained his whole life for the Olympics, the "worst" thing might be experiencing an injury the week before the event. To someone who has walked away from her career to become a stay-at-home wife for 40 years, watching her husband leave her for a younger woman might be the "worst" thing. And, to a woman whose sole goal in life has been to love and nurture a child, infertility may indeed be the "worst" thing that could happen.
People wouldn't dream of telling someone whose parent just died, "It could be worse: both of your parents could be dead." Such a comment would be considered cruel rather than comforting. In the same vein, don't tell your friend that she could be going through worse things than infertility.
Don't Say They Aren't Meant to Be Parents
One of the cruelest things anyone ever said to me is, "Maybe God doesn't intend for you to be a mother." How incredibly insensitive to imply that I would be such a bad mother that God felt the need to divinely sterilize me. If God were in the business of divinely sterilizing women, don't you think he would prevent the pregnancies that end in abortions? Or wouldn't he sterilize the women who wind up neglecting and abusing their children? Even if you aren't religious, the "maybe it's not meant to be" comments are not comforting. Infertility is a medical condition, not a punishment from God or Mother Nature.
Don't Ask Why They Aren't Trying IVF
In vitro fertilization (IVF) is a method in which the woman harvests multiple eggs, which are then combined with the man's sperm in a petri dish. This is the method that can produce multiple births. People frequently ask, "Why don't you just try IVF?" in the same casual tone they would use to ask, "Why don't you try shopping at another store?"
Don't Be Crude
It is appalling that I even have to include this paragraph, but some of you need to hear this-Don't make crude jokes about your friend's vulnerable position. Crude comments like "I'll donate the sperm" or "Make sure the doctor uses your sperm for the insemination" are not funny, and they only irritate your friends.
Don't Complain About Your Pregnancy
This message is for pregnant women-Just being around you is painful for your infertile friends. Seeing your belly grow is a constant reminder of what your infertile friend cannot have. Unless an infertile women plans to spend her life in a cave, she has to find a way to interact with pregnant women. However, there are things you can do as her friend to make it easier.
The number one rule is DON'T COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR PREGNANCY. I understand from my friends that, when you are pregnant, your hormones are going crazy and you experience a lot of discomfort, such as queasiness, stretch marks, and fatigue. You have every right to vent about the discomforts to any one else in your life, but don't put your infertile friend in the position of comforting you.
Your infertile friend would give anything to experience the discomforts you are enduring because those discomforts come from a baby growing inside of you. When I heard a pregnant woman complain about morning sickness, I would think, "I'd gladly throw up for nine straight months if it meant I could have a baby." When a pregnant woman would complain about her weight gain, I would think, "I would cut off my arm if I could be in your shoes."
I managed to go to baby showers and hospitals to welcome my friends' new babies, but it was hard. Without exception, it was hard. Stay sensitive to your infertile friend's emotions, and give her the leeway that she needs to be happy for you while she cries for herself. If she can't bring herself to hold your new baby, give her time. She isn't rejecting you or your new baby; she is just trying to work her way through her pain to show sincere joy for you. The fact that she is willing to endure such pain in order to celebrate your new baby with you speaks volumes about how much your friendship means to her.
Don't Treat Them Like They Are Ignorant
For some reason, some people seem to think that infertility causes a person to become unrealistic about the responsibilities of parenthood. I don't follow the logic, but several people told me that I wouldn't ache for a baby so much if I appreciated how much responsibility was involved in parenting.
Let's face it-no one can fully appreciate the responsibilities involved in parenting until they are, themselves, parents. That is true whether you successfully conceived after one month or after 10 years. The length of time you spend waiting for that baby does not factor in to your appreciation of responsibility. If anything, people who have been trying to become pregnant longer have had more time to think about those responsibilities. They have also probably been around lots of babies as their friends started their families.
Perhaps part of what fuels this perception is that infertile couples have a longer time to "dream" about what being a parent will be like. Like every other couple, we have our fantasies-my child will sleep through the night, would never have a tantrum in public, and will always eat his vegetables. Let us have our fantasies. Those fantasies are some of the few parent-to-be perks that we have-let us have them. You can give us your knowing looks when we discover the truth later.
Don't Gossip About Your Friend's Condition
Infertility treatments are very private and embarrassing, which is why many couples choose to undergo these treatments in secret. Men especially are very sensitive to letting people know about infertility testing, such as sperm counts. Gossiping about infertility is not usually done in a malicious manner. The gossipers are usually well-meaning people who are only trying to find out more about infertility so they can help their loved ones.
Regardless of why you are sharing this information with someone else, it hurts and embarrasses your friend to find out that Madge the bank teller knows what your husband's sperm count is and when your next period is expected. Infertility is something that should be kept as private as your friend wants to keep it. Respect your friend's privacy, and don't share any information that your friend hasn't authorized.
Don't Push Adoption **BIG ONE FOR ME!!**
Adoption is a wonderful way for infertile people to become parents. (As an adoptive parent, I can fully vouch for this!!) However, the couple needs to work through many issues before they will be ready to make an adoption decision. Before they can make the decision to love a "stranger's baby," they must first grieve the loss of that baby with Daddy's eyes and Mommy's nose. Adoption social workers recognize the importance of the grieving process. When my husband and I went for our initial adoption interview, we expected the first question to be, "Why do you want to adopt a baby?" Instead, the question was, "Have you grieved the loss of your biological child yet?" Our social worker emphasized how important it is to shut one door before you open another.
You do, indeed, need to grieve this loss before you are ready to start the adoption process. The adoption process is very long and expensive, and it is not an easy road. So, the couple needs to be very sure that they can let go of the hope of a biological child and that they can love an adopted baby. This takes time, and some couples are never able to reach this point. If your friend cannot love a baby that isn't her "own," then adoption isn't the right decision for her, and it is certainly not what is best for the baby.
Mentioning adoption in passing can be a comfort to some couples. (The only words that ever offered me comfort were from my sister, who said, "Whether through pregnancy or adoption, you will be a mother one day.") However, "pushing" the issue can frustrate your friend. So, mention the idea in passing if it seems appropriate, and then drop it. When your friend is ready to talk about adoption, she will raise the issue herself.
So, what can you say to your infertile friends? Unless you say "I am giving you this baby," there is nothing you can say that will erase their pain. So, take that pressure off of yourself. It isn't your job to erase their pain, but there is a lot you can do to lesson the load. Here are a few ideas.
Let Them Know That You Care
The best thing you can do is let your infertile friends know that you care. Send them cards. Let them cry on your shoulder. If they are religious, let them know you are praying for them. Offer the same support you would offer a friend who has lost a loved one. Just knowing they can count on you to be there for them lightens the load and lets them know that they aren't going through this alone.
Remember Them on Mother's Day
With all of the activity on Mother's Day, people tend to forget about women who cannot become mothers. Mother's Day is an incredibly painful time for infertile women. You cannot get away from it-There are ads on the TV, posters at the stores, church sermons devoted to celebrating motherhood, and all of the plans for celebrating with your own mother and mother-in-law.
Mother's Day is an important celebration and one that I relish now that I am a mother. However, it was very painful while I was waiting for my baby. Remember your infertile friends on Mother's Day, and send them a card to let them know you are thinking of them. They will appreciate knowing that you haven't "forgotten" them.
Support Their Decision to Stop Treatments
No couple can endure infertility treatments forever. At some point, they will stop. This is an agonizing decision to make, and it involves even more grief. Even if the couple chooses to adopt a baby, they must still first grieve the loss of that baby who would have had mommy's nose and daddy's eyes.
Once the couple has made the decision to stop treatments, support their decision. Don't encourage them to try again, and don't discourage them from adopting, if that is their choice. Once the couple has reached resolution (whether to live without children, adopt a child, or become foster parents), they can finally put that chapter of their lives behind them. Don't try to open that chapter again.
Wednesday, May 4, 2011
So I went.. alone... and it was AWESOME!!!
The show commemorated the 1yr of the Nashville flood... just 1 yr before, the Opry house was under 4ft of water! Crazy to think that!
The line up was amazing!!!
Started with Luke Bryan (YUM)
Then of course the adorable and funny as heck Little Jimmy Dickens!
Dierks Bentley took the stage next and I just love love love him!!!
I loved him on Apprentice and I love him now! The VERY big with a very deep voice...Trace Adkins!
Then a band came on that I have been listening to since I was a little girl... and fell in love with again watching Coyote Ugly. Charlie Daniels Band!!!
And they did Devil went down to Georgia! Timeless!!
And last but not least... okay I will admit he's not my favorite singer but seeing him live and so close was pretty unforgettable!
It really was amazing!!! Thank you Jon for getting me the ticket and for taking such good care of the kids while I was away!